Lessons Matthew McConaughey taught me

Some practical takeaways and reflections I got from reading Matthew McConaughey’s recent book, ‘Greenlights’.

I’ve always been a fan of Mr. Matthew McConaughey. ‘Interstellar’, ‘Dallas Buyers Club’ and ‘Mud’ to name a few favourites. When I found out that he’d come out with a book I was skeptical. The thoughts of, Oh please don’t be another celebrity trying to make a quick dash for cash, definitely crossed my mind. However, after watching the Joe Rogan podcast and hearing him talk a bit more of his process writing this book and the deep musings he had on life I was intrigued.

At £12.99 it wasn’t a cheap book by any means but I took the plunge- and courtesy of Amazon prime, I delved in the next day. For those wondering what the book is about it is a reflective memoir-styled book with lots of funny stories of McConaughey’s past. So actually without any knowledge of the actor, it’d still be a fascinating read and you’d get a ton from it.

I learned that the reasoning behind the title greenlights title is that McConaughey hoped to pass on his reflections and lessons learned to the reader. Simply put it a green light is a moment where he moved forward or learned a lesson. So despite being written and having examples from his life, I found the teaching points surprisingly poignant and universal. This book was definitely an interesting concept and here are some of the main takeaways I got from it.

Here are some things Matthew taught me:

1. Approach things with intent

“The arrival is inevitable: Death, The approach is relative: Life” — M.M

Immediately met with quite a blunt view on things and an interesting upbringing McConaughey makes quite existential topics like life, death, and all in between quite easy to understand. As an over-thinker, this idea of literally not leaving room for these thoughts was really helpful.

With stories about his childhood punishments and introspections made me reflect upon my actions. One story in particular resonated about McConaughey getting his ‘ass whupped’ for the words he spoke. These weren’t cursing words that led to his beating. Instead, these were words that could harm him. They engineered who Matthew was. Ideologies, values, beliefs.

Reading that it was when McConaughey said he hated people or told people he couldn’t do something, or that he had lied, that the real punishment was brought about was fascinating. I think to myself what things do I do and say that choreograph the type of person I am.

“words are momentary, intent is momentous” — M.M

2. Process of elimination

The idea of having things all figured out is a lie. Nobody knows what they are doing and this is especially true when it comes to our identity. We usually don’t know who we are rather who we are not. I’ve experienced this throughout my life plenty of times. I had 3 personal statements prepared for 3 different university courses in completely different subjects. I’ve chopped and changed jobs and roles so many times. However “you cannot put an old head on young shoulders”. Life provides experience.

Reading McConaughey’s experience was hilarious. He thought it was the fancy cars that women were attracted to but instead it was the hustle about him that they liked. He was hardworking. Remove the focus and you get lazy and no one wants to be around that.

“Too many options can make a tyrant out of any of us, so we should get rid of the excess in our lives that keep us from being more of ourselves. When we decrease the options that feed us, we eventually, almost accidentally, have more options in front of us that do” — M.M

3. Creative boundaries

A consistent theme throughout the book is that of having some sort of restriction or structure to creative endeavors. This is often contrary to what is popularised online or in media. ‘Just do whatever you want, ‘Go with the flow’, ‘Just feel it.

“Creativity needs borders. Individuality needs resistance. The earth needs gravity. Without them, there is no form. No art. Only chaos” — M.M

Matthew proposes this idea of being conservative early and liberal late. Having the order to force us to develop a sense of responsibility and then ultimately cultivate our own ability of choice. Elimination is order by default. Meandering about is not ‘freedom’ and actually, the obstacle stopping us from becoming the people we are meant to be.

A big thing McConaughey stressed from his lessons learned as a kid was how much he often thought he was right but ultimately completely off. We often kid ourselves into thinking freedom means getting rid of constraints around us because that is the easy thing to do and doesn’t require any hardship.

Creative boundaries are where true identity is born.

“I will form good habits and become their slave” — M.M

4. Own it

In life, we go through a lot of ups and downs and often it takes a lot of mistakes to learn where we went wrong; well it does for me anyway. Looking back when I was younger I can see aspects of my youth where I was a serial complainer. Even now there are times when I unnecessarily shift the blame.

Reading of one of McConaughey’s experiences of being given a role due to the director's belief he spoke Spanish was a massive instance where he could argue and shift blame. But he talks of how he just had to own up and learn from the situation despite how embarrassing it was in the current moment.

“We must learn the consequence of negligence- it’s not just what we do, it’s what we don’t do that’s important as well. We are guilty by omission” — M.M

To me, that quote means standing up for what is right even when it means hardship, persecution, and rejection is what you receive as a result. But first, you have to spend some time with yourself and work out who you want to be, what you want to believe, what morals and values you’ll have- then go out and own it.

5. Don’t try and solve everything

I like being able to sort things out. I like being able to help people. I like to feel valued. It’s one of my biggest insecurities; not believing I am good enough or adequate so therefore having to earn that relationship, right that wrong, prove a point. One of the biggest lies we are fed is that there is a correlation between our worth and our actions. Despite our rights or wrongs, we are loved and that changes everything.

One of the most heartwarming stories in the book was about the friendship between McConaughey and a Brother he met in a silent retreat in a monastery. I won’t go into all the details for those who haven’t read the book but Matthew specifically talks of this one encounter were talking to this Brother he was expecting lots of advice and him to solve all his issues out but none of that happened. In McConaughey’s place of confession and vulnerability, he awaited judgment yet instead what he received was pure authenticity.

[McConaughey] “I’ve tried to be a good man, to not lie and deceive myself, to be more pure of heart and mind, but I am full of lust, objectifying other people and myself. I do not feel a connection to my past nor see the path to my future, I’m lost. I don’t feel myself”… Brother Christian, who hadn’t said one word to me this entire time looked me in the eyes and in almost a whisper said to me, “Me, too”.

Reading that I see that it's not out of trying to do everything and pretend to know it all but instead to have honesty, love, and compassion in our actions, and sometimes that can mean admitting we don’t have a solution. Sometimes we don’t need advice, sometimes we need to just know we aren’t alone.

There were many more great takeaways I got from the book and I was happily surprised at how much I enjoyed Greenlights. I would recommend it to anyone who wants to have a little bit of a reflective, introspective, slower read. Very different from many autobiographies out there.

To those who have read it, I hope you liked my thoughts and let me know what your takeaways were. Thanks for reading.

Why you can’t turn Pro

Turning pro seems to be such a foreign idea to the majority of people yet it doesn’t have to be. Reflecting upon the topic after reading a recent book on the subjects here are some thoughts I have to share.

Firstly what is a professional?

Often our understanding of what actually is a pro is misunderstood and therefore unachievable as we are going after the wrong things. The official definition of professional is, “a person engaged in a specified activity, especially a sport, as a main paid occupation rather than as a pastime”, or “a person engaged or qualified in a profession”.

The problem with both of these definitions however is that they leave so much in the grey; like to qualify as a professional does one necessarily need to be earning money? What if you are really bad at something yet earn a ton or equally are amazing and don’t earn a penny?

Or as the second definition states “qualified and engaged in a profession”, what does qualified mean- do we all require a degree? Similarly what does engaged in a profession actually mean?

These vague definitions leave a bit to be desired and my personal opinion is that a ‘professional’ is to simply take on a certain mindset. Obviously, this can then manifest in a change in action, however, ultimately it is the fundamental ideology and routines that the pro has that differ oneself from the more average or amateur. Recently there was a book I read which went on about this called, “Turning Pro” by Steven Pressfield, and I dug deeper into this topic.

“Ambition is the most primal and sacred fundament of our being. To feel ambition and to act upon it is to embrace the unique calling of our souls”

This is one of the first quotes Pressfield throws at you in the book and it struck a chord with me because reflecting upon my life I have lots of ambitions whether it be in running, writing, making a difference, or whatever; however, taking action upon that is always the hard part. The day-to-day resistance is a recurrent theme that seems to separate those from amateur to pro.

The average Joe simply can’t overcome the short-term hardship looking to that long-term vision of becoming a pro.

But what actually does a professional look like?

So we have this ambition that is a ‘sacred fundament of our being’, and that sounds all good and fancy but what is the solution? A master plan, a guide, a lifeline to escape the existential dread of unfulfilled potential? No none of that, the pro simply leans into discipline and has quite a simple life, and as Pressfield describes it, they are,

“So plain they are invisible”

The focus for the professional is so clear they don’t worry or concern themselves with distractions that their peers or the rest of society concern themselves with.

The amateur assumes an attitude of fear- running from the true calling and instead follows a path that doesn’t have any risk or loss. Yet in this shadow career designated to the amateur, there is a consistent lack of fulfillment. Carl Jung, one of the biggest contributors to analytical psychology, often said;

“What is our unconscious trying to tell us?”

Digging deep into the innate calling of our hearts; the professional lifestyle is something achievable by us all-we just need the discipline.

But I’m not disciplined, how can I ever be a professional?

Don’t worry! Ultimately we have to recognise that we are all fallen, flawed beings. Humans are addicted to dopamine, failure, sex, distraction, money, trouble, and all the while feeding their own egos. None of us are exempt, it is the sad reality of 21st Century western society.

However, this doesn’t let us off free. Amongst different places in society and different people with different moral obligations, there will be more leanings, although, it could be relatively easy to agree that accepting some aspects (if not all) of a professional lifestyle is something to aspire to.

To sacrifice the ease of that lifestyle and take up what can be hardship in the immediate for the success and growth in the long term goes against the grain but is distinctive in this day and age.

Discipline is not something you are born with nor does it come easy to anyone. It’s similar to a muscle. You must train it, remove distractions and implement healthy habits that allow for the professional side of you to flourish.

You’ve convinced me! What’s next?

Pressfield outlines some helpful qualities of the Professional to try and aim for in the day to day:

1. The professional shows up every day

2. The professional stays on the job all-day

3. The professional is committed over the long haul

4. For the professional, the stakes are high, and real

5. The professional is patient

6. The professional seeks order

7. The professional demystifies

8. The professional acts in the face of fear

9. The professional accepts no excuses

10. The professional plays it as it lays

11. The professional is prepared

12. The professional does not show off

13. The professional dedicates himself to mastering technique

14. The professional does not hesitate to ask for help

15. The professional does not identify with his or her instrument

16. The professional does not take failure or success personally

17. The professional endures adversity

18. The professional self validates

19. The professional reinvents himself

20. The professional is recognised by other professionals

Although these seem somewhat foreign and hard principles they are good to strive for. As someone who is always looking to better himself, adopting some aspects of professionalism stressed by Pressfield is something I am going to work on.

“The amateur tweets. The Pro works”

Well, I finished up here. Better stop scrolling, get working, and venture onwards.

Sapiens Qui Prospicit

These plants I sow are my life,

they are my everything,

the toil I go through is in recognition for the harvest yet to come.

I call out for others to join me.

Come summer I will reap plenty,

yet the labourers are few.

There is weariness for the day is long and the work hard,

yet my father see me prudent.

Those sleeping bring shame and gather dust.

Despite hardship I recognise I have multiplied the nation.

They take splendour in me,

we divide the spoil and rejoice with joy at the feast.

If only the others knew.

Those who sow will reap.

I pray for an awakening.