10. Why you have to give your best

In western society, we are blessed with so many resources, opportunities, and (for the most part) a great deal of time.

The approach often taken by the masses is therefore to try and many things as possible and enjoy all there is to offer.

Indulgence in great quantity is a very short-sighted mindset. It’s also very safe and risk-averse.

To make a real difference in something you have to give your best. You have to decide to do something rather than another. You have to work on it consistently.

There’s no hack and it’s not pretty but it works.

You put your flag on the ground and say to the world what your aim is.

This could be with a degree, career, or even partner choice.

The thing is commitment is scary but it provides so many benefits. It allows you to become your best version. A focus inaccessible without commitment. The result is that of giving your best the rest of life actually becomes simpler.

You are so focused on your mission that the rest of the stuff meld themselves around your focus.

Say your focus is to write a book. All you have to write every day until it is done. That is your best. That is an alignment of routine with where you want to go. You don’t have a worry about your schedule because the main focus is sorted.

Similarly, when you know you are giving 100% you don’t beat yourself up because you couldn’t have given it any more.

Resistance to this comes in the form of comparison, trying to be people we are not, and ultimately not committing to the task at hand.

I personally find myself annoyed most when I know I could’ve worked harder in a day. I’ve left stuff in the tank. I’ve not performed as well as I could. I’ve not made myself or others proud.

This could be seen as a toxic and unhealthy view of going about things, (and maybe it is) however, to achieve different results you need to approach things differently- meaning going above and beyond.

All of this isn’t in direct correlation with work it could be your passions, sports, or relationships…

And the best indicator to you giving your best is your time. Quality time, undivided from focus.

The sitting on the fence, half-hearted approach exposes your fear of commitment. You don’t believe in yourself, the task or simply don’t care enough.

To fully live out and be your best you have to be undivided in your continual learning of yourself. You decide your focus, your mission, your distractions, your tendencies, your values, your why.

From here you can be grateful and use all the gifts given to you to your best disposal as you are not meandering about the place.

People may push back and say, this is a very self-centred approach. And maybe it is- yet, I believe it is out of a security in ourselves and a knowledge of where we are going then enables us to fully serve others.

Think of the most helpful mentors or people in your life, they probably weren’t people unsure of themselves or not trying their best.

We can shift our perspective when we have this strong core. Gratitude, empathy, and doing things justice. For me, that means wanting to work the hardest and even obsess over the things I think are helpful to the world and the people in it.

I want to make the gift of this life count, how about you?

9. Making use of the repetitive

“No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it’s not the same river and he’s not the same man”- Heraclitus

The daily commute.

The mundane job.

The boring friends.

The predictable films.

The wasting of time.

No time is misused if you are engaging with it in a correct mindset. You can dial in on details, re-engage with content, and do some introspection. This ultimately leads to you bringing something into fruition that is unique and valuable for both yourself and others.

The daily commute becomes a chance to practice gratitude.

The mundane job becomes a school to gain skills to progress.

The boring friends become people who develop your social skills.

The predictable films become challenges in finding patterns in life.

The time is no longer wasted as you’ve learned how to develop yourself.

8. The happiness thief

is not a person…

A few days ago I had a really nice day planned; doing a Parkrun, seeing some friends, then going to a coffee festival. I went and enjoyed the day. A fun run, brilliant chats with friends, and some good coffee.

I arrived home in the evening in a happy mood. Pleased with how my day had been and intaking my fair share of caffeine.

But that was all ruined when I reached for my phone.

I looked on Instagram and saw brilliant moments. People were having meals out, completing incredible running races, or simply were sharing their business success. Anyhow all the achievements seem more momentous than mine.

I forgot how good my day was and started picking flaws at it.

Then the voices started…

‘I should’ve spent time working on my business’, ‘I don’t have friends just people who go to the events I go to’, ‘I’m not good enough’.

The demons are real and despite me not being the best at coping with them I think recognising the reality of a situation is a step in the right direction.

“Comparison is the thief of joy”- Theodore Roosevelt

Looking at this quote you may see where I’m heading with this. Social media is a catalyst for unhealthy comparison in my opinion.

The joy I had after my good day was stolen when I compared my life to that of social media.

And you might think, ‘ah well all you have to do is acknowledge that it is a highlight reel’. Well, I’m sorry but that is easier said than done. When I do something I go all in and for more going all-in on devices is not healthy.

So is the solution to bury our heads in the sand and not go on social media?

Well yes, and no.

I think the key thing to do is to learn more about yourself. What are your weakness, habits, and personality traits?

As someone who can be obsessive and very focused, this can be dangerous if it’s on the wrong thing. So I implement habits to counteract the comparison danger.

Taking into consideration (and perhaps my slight bias against social media due to my personality) I recognise the validity of keeping it for business uses. There are some people I can only contact through Instagram and I sometimes get people to message enquires through there.

Whatever, the case though I think it’s still worth taking a real think about the whole comparison thing. Has it become your vice? What does your screen time look like? Can you survive a day without your phone? If not cut it off.

My personal routine is to only use Instagram on my phone if I am posting. Other than that I just don’t like having any social media on my mobile device- meaningful connections are developed outside anyways. I can always check up on the computer but the more I detach the more I dislike the usage of it all.

Ultimately we all have some sort of mission or desire we are going after. Developing a relationship or family, creating a business, completing studies… or something completely different. Whatever the case, disappearing from social media (or going off them completely) to focus on what you care about is never going to be something you regret.

As with starting anything hard, you need to focus on why you are doing it and use that for motivation. So when it comes to social media and you see everyone on it when you are out with friends you must tell yourself you aren’t on it because you are developing a better sense of security in yourself. You want to be happier. You want to dedicate more time to things you care about. You aren’t a sheep.

The happiness thief is not a person, it’s a voice inside you. You can conquer it.