37. Unwanted attention

Today I was at the gym and I decided that I wanted to put my all in and go as fast as I could for 5 minutes on the treadmill.

It was the longest 5 minutes of my life because I felt all eyes on me.

Despite feeling uncomfortable in that moment I felt I was undeniably working harder than anyone else.

I gave a smile in the mirror and the stares actually gave me a boost.

I understood that people got uncomfortable me going above and beyond because they felt like they weren’t working hard enough.

The learning was that I need to get more comfortable with the uncomfortable stares and often unwanted attention as that signifies doing something out of the ordinary. If everyone worked the same, if everyone put the same effort in, if everyone tried as hard- there would be no success stories.

Embrace the attention- however frustrating- it shows you’re on the path of progress.

36. Sic Parvis Magna

Thus great things from small things.

I’ve begun realising more that it's the little things that makeup who we are.

Someone is a runner because they run a lot, someone is a writer because they write a lot, someone is a reader because they read a lot.

If you do something once but stop you are a ‘one-hit wonder’- and that’s only if you are successful. If you do something once and don’t get successful you are just flaky and lack commitment.

I think there is too much stress put on individual decisions- we are led to believe that one choice could make or break us in our life. Like landing that ‘big job’ or nailing that test or winning that competition. In reality, these are mere stepping stones in the whole river which is life. The problem with these moments being highlighted as momentous is that people often give them more weight than the day-to-day rituals.

It is in these small, everyday tasks that we create who we want to be. You want to run a marathon, you run a few times a week. You want to write that book, you create dedicated time each day to write. You want to get through reading a long book, you read a few pages each day.

And to succeed these times must become sacred, non-negotiables to which you become a slave.

Great things are then become formulaic problems that you can solve. Success isn’t a question of chance but instead can be achievable through small consistent actions.

Above you have a diagram from James Clear’s book ‘Atomic Habits’ and you can see how small improvements correlate with exponential growth. I think if you were to look at some of the most creative people it is their small habits that they consistently bring about which allowed space for big things to happen.

The beauty about small decisions being the deciding factor to success means that it can be achievable and we don’t have to beat ourselves up over a single event that goes wrong. We will always have the opportunity to learn and remedy that through consistently turning up and that is so reassuring.

Ultimately that means whatever failure we do doesn’t matter as such- rather it is the small, easily changeable things that we do instead.

Saying this you cannot consistently do bad habits either as they too correlate to failure.

The notion that waking up and not doing your bed; clicking the snooze button and arriving late to that meeting; eating that one chocolate bar, and viewing it all as nonimportant is the issue. You have the wrong mindset.

As the quote goes- ‘greatness comes from small beginnings’- but so do failures.

I view it as a success in our life, failures are formulaic too, so we don't actually have this big drop-off. Rather we curate these habits which are conducive to our downfall. So if we do do those small little habits which aren't healthy for us, of course, we are going to fail because we've set ourselves up badly.

I think there's a lot more predictability in the outcome of how we succeed or fail just within these small things we do.

I can see it in my life; days where I reached more for the unhealthy foods, my moods being down and me not being productive.

These have 99% of the time being because I don't stick to my routines. It's because I have lots of junk food in the house, it's because I didn't exercise. It’s because I didn’t look after my mental health.

Yet, when I do start my day well with the right small things it's a much better start.

Seeing this correlation actually gives me a laser focus to have these routines as a major priority in my life. Sometimes I'm accused of being a bit over the top when it comes to some of my habits but honestly, I don’t care. I recognise they lead to me being a better person for myself and others and just because it seems extreme to some doesn’t mean it is wrong.

“The way we do one thing is the way we do everything” - Iyanla Vanzant

The small things relate to the big things in more ways than we can imagine. Yet, people deny their correlation to justify bad habits.

So I think the challenge is to look for those small things and see how we can curate healthy habits that then manifest into the rest of our lives.

Ultimately, good or bad, all these different things in our lives start from small everyday choices. They can be ironed out or they can be unconsciously accepted. For success, we just need to discern the good from bad and stick to them.

I hope I can do so in my life but I guess only time will tell- I wish you the best with your small things too.

35. A new diary

Today I started a new diary, I’ve been filling up little notebooks with my brain dumps for years now and I find writing just to myself with no agenda is easily one of the best and freeing things I’ve done.

A famous quote from Anne Frank goes as follows:

“Paper has more patience than people”

Despite sounding a bit weird when you actually think about it, it makes a lot of sense. People come with all their judgment, bias’ and complexity, yet the blank page has none of that. Consequently, it is 100% up to us what goes there, but the same cannot be said in other facets of life.

I think a lot of things we do in life are dictated by other people- consciously or subconsciously.

And don't get me wrong, that's good some of the time but it can be unhelpful when we bury our true honest emotions and opinions- especially for a prolonged period.

As the quote says, some people just don't have the patience for our words. Our problems are too vague, too difficult, or just too scary to take on for some people- so we hide them.

But then we end up crumbling under the weight of all our hidden issues- we can’t do it alone.

So despite diaries not being a complete substitute, I have found them foundational to success in my personal, spiritual and professional life.

On and off since 2018, I’ve grabbed a pen, pencil, or marker and scribbled whatever has come to my head. It hasn’t been scheduled rather just turning up. Sometimes that was a couple of times a day whilst other times it was maybe once a week. Whatever the case, I noticed that without it my mood went in a major decline.

It’s a hard practice as writing things down makes them real somehow, and when that is about issues in your life that’s hard to do. Yet, in doing this you alleviate the strain- the shackle of that problem seems lighter. It doesn’t go away but you can see more sense; you objectively can look at it and work out ways to fix it.

The simple process of sharing genuine thoughts daily is a foreign idea to some if not all of us. When in life can we really share what we think without fear of rejection, judgment, or being cancelled.

But you can do it in daily practice.

It's a meditative kind of habit and it brings a certain sense of peace- one which you can take control of.

Writing things down means they don’t live in your head as much. I find all thoughts and memories have a certain rent space and they take up that real estate in my brain and it almost takes a physical act to change that.

Writing definitely does that but speaking to someone, exercising, or actively tackling the issue are other ways I often get that new perspective.

I look back at the pages and I feel a sense of achievement because not only is it something I have stayed pretty consistent at but it enables me to see an obvious sense of progression in my life. It enables me to recognise when I hit rock bottom and when I am full of energy and see all future events with a great sense of gratitude, whatever the outcome.

Knowledge is power and no one can teach you more about yourself than you. Just take some time to be introspective on all the experiences you have gone through and fully receive the wisdom from all the good and bad you have gone through.

I promise you won’t regret it.