43. The 3 most important phrases

There’s a reason why these have stood the test of time.

No.1: Gnothi Seauton

This has a direct translation of ‘know thyself’.

It’s simple but often neglected.

We often are quick to point out issues with others yet not with ourselves. Introspection and active learning of ourselves are needed daily. Out of here, you can learn your strengths and weaknesses, can love yourself more, and ultimately make a bigger difference in the world.

No.2: Memento Mori

The stoic phrase translates as ‘remember you must die’.

This is a harsh but honest reality we sometimes forget, especially in developed sides of the world.

Death shapes life in how we have a purpose to our days, we don’t waste time, and we attempt to create things that outlive us. Regularly looking at your day and imagining it could be our last grants great motivation for when we remain idle in the comfortable bubbles we make for ourselves.

No.3: Post Tenebras Lux

The rallying cry of the Protestant Reformers, ‘light after darkness’.

In a world full of hardship and suffering there is a need to look forward with hope.

Amongst current pain, you often lose barings on objective truths. The tough moment you are in seems all-consuming that you forget all good that has happened and can happen. But this often becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy of sorts, as we get so in the mindest that we must be sad. Shifting the perspective, no matter the situation, that we can be content and there is light to come allows for a constant in our mindset. We can’t rely on external stimuli for this hope.

42. Rejection

Sometimes you're going to get rejected and it sucks.

It can be with work, relationships, or just about anything in life.

It is so hard because ultimately to be in a state available to receive rejection we're offering up ourselves or our work with vulnerability. This is hard because people can respond with disproportionate scrutiny.

We have to learn that we can’t control other people’s responses, but we can control our reactions to them.

But that is hard.

I've had various forms of this in my life.

A simple example for me was what happened this week- I was submitting an end-of-unit project for university, only for it to be rejected by my advisor.

She said she wouldn’t read it because I had done too much.

This frustrated me slightly because I didn’t see that as an issue but she obviously did. Once I accepted that fact I dissipated that anger and recognised I would have to redo it.

That silly story was used to illustrate we can’t have control within all these contexts.

It's stepping back realising although we are the main character within our own narrative that's not the case for the world for everyone else.

You might have a teacher who's running the shop, it's their movie.

You might have a colleague or boss and this is their TV series.

It's their narrative and it's their way or the highway.

There are points where you have to use some emotional and relational intelligence to recognise that you do not have ultimate control within those situations and it is better to let somebody else have their way.

But this doesn’t mean you become a pushover and just accept everyone has superior power to you.

You have to work out when and when not to accept rejection and learn to use it as a tool for growth rather than a lingering pain you carry with you.

Understanding when and where you should feel deeply about something is essential.

You can’t allow yourself to be hurt by harsh words and rejection from people who know very little about you, nor should you lash out with passion.

Quietly listen unaffected recognising that rejection is inevitable.

For the university work, I recognised that that's not a context to get disturbed and annoyed at. I simply received a response on my work based on the only field of reference the lecturer has on me (that work) so that critique shouldn’t be taken to heart.

That is not a full representation of me as a person.

But we still do have to be open to rejection.

This is where you listen and encourage those who know you more holistically to critique you and reject bad things about you.

It is in this space that you can radically make change rather than from every single bad thing said about us.

What often happens is due to the fear of rejection we have lots of passive people.

We have lots of timidity in just allowing things to happen, not wanting to make disturbance or get called out or rejected from groups. And I mean that is okay if you are to be the teacher's pet, but you'll never be a leader.

Leaders do annoy people, but they make a change. They make a difference.

But it’s knowing when and where you make a difference, when and where you listen, and actually developing the ability to take hard advice on the chin and when to disregard it.

So, with all these things in life, they're learning lessons and can give wisdom along the way if we allow them to.

I used to be super scared of rejection but in actual fact, it alleviates that space of overthinking and allows you to move on.

Regret is worse than rejection.

Additionally, rejection in your work or in popularity can be a good indicator that you are doing something distinctive- something that can make a difference.

So recognise you will inevitably be rejected. Embrace that feeling, dig deep into the lessons it teaches you, and go out there and strive onwards with your mission in life.

41. FOMO

is a beast we feed

The best way to alleviate this sad feeling is to starve any attachment it has on us with purposeful action.

When I look at days when I have felt like I am missing out it’s because I am not doing anything or I am looking sideways rather than keeping my head down.

Contrast this with days where I am most confident is when I know what I am doing. This can be a simple day of me writing, doing work, or reading- I am confident with this being necessary to my bigger purpose so don’t get FOMO.

It is when I’m focussed on my ‘Why’ that I have purpose and drive and no comparison.

Not having an agenda for your time allows space for other people to take up your time- either mentally or physically.

We often forget the mental part.

The response for us doesn’t mean making monumental outlandish plans every day.

It just calls for intentionality- because do you remember the last time you intentionally chose to compare yourself to someone else on Instagram? That’s right, never. It comes out of a place of boredom, lack of direction, and insecurity.

Intentionality breeds a knowledge that what you are doing is right for you now- that your direction is good despite maybe looking different from that of your contemporaries.

Some practical things I have found helpful recently:

1. Dig deep into why you are doing things.

2. Remind yourself daily what your values, desires, and goals are.

3. Just remember different people, professions and relationships have different roadmaps and time scales.

4. Get introspective, get harsh on yourself, work on yourself daily.

5. Social media is not only fake but a massive distraction. If you can use it as a tool don’t use it at all.

So get out there and enjoy the things that speak to you. Creating those personalised adventures based on your purpose is amazing because they are so wonderfully unique.

The earlier you understand the difference to be okay the quicker the beast of FOMO doesn’t bite at you. Someone else’s party may be fun in ‘societies’ eyes but you may hate it. You knowing yourself and getting deep on that is essential.

So venture onward and make a difference FOMO-free!