52. Idolising Pain

It’s an easy rabbit hole to fall down.

Black or White. Good or Bad. Comfort or Pain.

It’s easy to look to extremes and think those are the only places we can reside.

When it comes to progression and moving forward having a cosy lifestyle is often the barrier to you trying new things and developing as a person.

Pain and suffering can therefore be seen as the alternatives and indicators of you pushing yourself.

Yet, these aren’t long-term solutions.

Hardship is to be learned from for you then to take lessons into the times of ease.

Tough times strengthen you to make a difference in easy environments.

Suffering brings gratitude for the time when you do have an abundance.

The learnings you take are pointless if you endlessly live in this cycle of pain.

We are often put in particular moments and situations for a reason and however painful or easy they are they should be appreciated.

Pain, although necessary for refinement and focus, shouldn’t be idolised- nor should a plentiful life.

All we are guaranteed in life is our present time so we should use it the best we can.

Passion is unbalanced and often comes back to bite us.

Black and white, good and bad, comfort and pain- they all serve their purpose. Neither is right nor wrong. They shouldn’t be idolised.

51. My favourite books of 2021

I like reading and here are some of my favourites. I promise you won’t have read all of them.

No.1: The Midnight Library- Matt Haig

Usually being more of a nonfiction reader I was reluctant to delve into this book. I’d never heard anything about it, never read anything by the author before, and was simply going off a recommendation- but oh boy I was glad I did.

Haig’s narrative reminded me about how helpful a good novel can be. It takes on the story of a girl contemplating life and death and tackles lots of philosophical, ethical, and existential questions in between. It was such a compelling book presented in a very easy-to-read package.

I got through this book so quickly and have gone on to read more of Haig’s work and he is not a one-hit-wonder with his style, characters, and dialogues coming alive off the pages. As someone who doesn’t read fiction, I definitely recommend ‘The Midnight Library’ to everyone.

No.2: Know your Why- Ken Costa

No this isn’t the popular Simon Sinek’s book on why- I believe this is much better.

Ken Costa tackles the issue of work and discovering your purpose in an honest and very holistic way I’ve not really seen before. In reading this I found he tackled things like how following your calling can interact with your faith, passions, engagement with others, and yourself.

Comparing this to other books on work I believe Costa doesn’t sugarcoat it; with chapters on the need to persevere, focus and wait- I found this a refreshing and genuine outlook.

Despite me feeling confident in my future already- this book allowed me to see where that sits with all avenues in my life and was very helpful. I highly recommend it to anyone wanting to know what they are called to and where that fits in with such a busy world.

No.3: The Dip- Seth Godin

If you don’t read much or find reading difficult this book is a must. I never knew I could get so much from a book under 100 pages (with pictures).

This succinct read is about knowing when to quit and why sticking at things too long is actually dangerous. A dilemma I think we all experience at one point with work, relationships, or lifestyle choices.

Since reading this I’ve had a brand new perspective on how I spend my time on new ventures and how I use my time. I’ve also done further research into Godin and realised he does a free daily blog which he’s done for around 10 years. Google it if you don’t want to spend money on the book it will probably cover much of what the book does.

A lot of self-help books have a lot of filler rubbish information but this book just was helpful through and through and I’ve since passed it on to friends to help them. I highly recommend ‘The Dip’.

No.4: What I talk about when I talk about Running- Haruki Murakami

A book title that really rolls off the tongue eh?

I stumbled over this book by chance in lockdown when I was attempting to get more into Japanese literature. I heard Marakumi was pretty well renowned so purchased this thinking it was about running but I was dead wrong.

Despite this book covering running that is just a small aspect of it. The main topic is about the process of being dedicated to a craft and what that flourishes into. A memoir about consistency.

Of all the books here this probably inspired me the most simply how different it is. Reading it was a major motivation for me actually starting this daily blog. It definitely won’t be for everyone with its style but whatever the case you will get something from it. Definitely try it out.

No.5: The Way of the Superior Man- David Deida

And the award for the most pretentious book title goes to…

Despite sounding like an odd book I believe this book is a must for men and women alike. It’s not a self-help book but simply a deep dive into masculinity and what that actually means. It goes deep into the desires of masculine people and how learning to embody those core desires will allow the masculine to flourish alongside the feminine or just in life in general.

Every page seemed like a eureka moment and I’ve passed this on to many of my male friends.

Saying that I believe all people should read, even if you do find yourself more on the feminine side, as this book allows you to understand more how masculine people’s brains function and what their priorities are.

Such an enlightening read- definitely give it a shot.

So those are my top books of the year but 2022 is fast approaching so more books are definitely needing to be read. Let me know if you’ve read any of these books, what your favourites are, and what you are looking forward to reading in the new year. I’ll be sure to check them out.

Keep reading and stay curious.

50. The need to celebrate

Reflection and recognition of good works are necessary.

We can often find it easy to look at what needs to be done but we don’t recognise all the good that has happened to us, the good others have done, or the progress that has been made.

The relentless pursuit forward is not always helpful.

There is a need to pause every once in a while- you might not need affirmation but others do.

In celebration there comes motivation, satisfaction, and confidence.

When we go away from or are actively involved in celebration we feel great and try to replicate the required process in order to repeat the celebration.

Having clarity in your congratulations is important to this too.

When you know why you are doing what you are doing and why it is being rewarded you have a deeper sense of fulfillment.

If it’s unclear on either of these things you are going to feel disingenuous and maybe think the person celebrating you is a bit stupid.

When there is little distinction made between a bad job, good job, and exemplary work is not celebrated- exceptional work will become less commonplace. People will not find the need to make a difference, to strive, to go above and beyond.

Allow space for people to want to push themselves.

Great leaders get the best out of people not curate a community of ‘bare minimum’ mindsets.

Go out and celebrate success, hard work, and attempts to make a change otherwise you’ll find yourself staying stagnant forever.