31. Advent Calendar

It's the first of December and probably like many of you, I've got myself a Christmas advent calendar.

Whether you celebrate Christmas or not, I just think it's a really interesting thing to do.

A time of waiting and preparation, having a daily reminder of the grand event that is going to take place, a prompt to look forward.

I was thinking about how I could apply this forward-looking to other areas of my life. I think sometimes the future doesn't seem so clear and that leads to a distressed and depressed state.

I don't think that I put in place gestures to remind me that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

It is more often than not that where we remain stagnant discouragement comes- it’s in this constant waiting period.

We don't set in place these almost daily habits to remind us why we're doing things.

So like the Christmas calendar, we need those stimuli to keep us on track. Wherever or whatever it may be.

Things like really understanding the why behind the hard efforts, staying inspired with art or work in your field, or simply just looking back and taking account of all the progress you've made.

Whatever it is, I think that there's something important in the daily recognition of change and progression as without it we can burn out not recognising all we have done. Like the calendar, I’m going to look forward and make sure to have ‘gifts’ of motivation in every season of my work.

‘I try to avoid looking forward or backward, and try to keep looking upward.’ - Charlotte Bronte

30. Memento Mori

‘Remember you must die’.

I think this is a helpful phrase because it bursts our, often cosy, lifestyle and grounds us in the inevitable fact of death. As human beings, we have a beginning as well as an end. Just because we don't know when that's going to be doesn’t mean we should forget it will happen- yet that is what we can find ourselves doing.

Similarly, I think sometimes we believe we are limitless and that we will go on indefinitely as Gods of some sort. I think it's due to this hyper-inflated ego that we get these days through status, social media, and a consumerist mindset.

Ultimately, our bodies are decaying at the end of the day and one day we will die. It can be viewed as quite sad but I think it is actually a very helpful thing. Personally, I do find that it shapes how I live my days. Me knowing that I could die right now- it makes me live each day with intention, it makes me live in gratitude, it makes me do the things I want to do now rather than in ‘5 years’.

It's enabling me to be grateful for the now and just grateful for all that has happened for me. I recognise the reality of death as a real thing. Therefore also allowing me to feel more at peace with it. Additionally, I do also have faith as well, which I personally believe alleviates a lot of the fear of dying.

Either way regardless of your belief system; having death as a reminder to be more intentional is so important.

We go about just living recklessly doing whatever we want thinking we have all the time in the world. And then one day, we're struck down by the cold truth of how that isn’t the case.

This wake-up call of death can often mean being hospitalised, losing someone close to us, or simply learning it in old age. But the earlier you learn the fact that you are futile and limited, the more you can make use of the time you have.

So I remind myself ‘Memento Mori’ ; that I could leave life right now. I go about my day as intentional as I can with attempts of being virtuous.

I currently am trying to do the things that I say I want to achieve as soon as possible. We put dreams on hold too often and live with the regret of unfilled potential. My aim is to avoid that.

Time is limited. It’s the most important yet most limited resource we have. So being constantly aware of its value allows you to treat it a certain way instead of using it in irresponsible fleeting moments.

So yeah, it's definitely an important lesson to take in this ego-centric world.

Be grateful, recognise how small you are, and be intentional- ‘Memento Mori’.

29. First impressions

You never get a second chance to make a first impression.

We want to think that people don’t judge us or we think because we’d act a certain way all other people must be like that. That is completely untrue.

Whether intentionally or not we are formulating an understanding of the people in front of us.

We are a people hungry to share our thoughts, as more often than not, we believe our views to hold more weight. I recognise this within myself. There is a new tv show- I want to throw my opinions in the ring. I think it is a desire to be recognised maybe.

The desire to be having lots of these first impressions and be the provider of the information is unhealthy if that is all you are doing and if it is for selfish desires like mentioned prior. Rather I’ve found approaching situations with no preconceived notions about certain people groups, places, or actions nor seeking out these ‘new things’ but rather waiting for these to come across my path. From here I try and be my most genuine self.

That is the temptation I think- to become the antithesis of who we actually are simply to be the person that makes ‘others’ happy.

Then all knowledge people have of you will be a detached facade that is so removed from your ‘genuine self’ that all the words were spoken to you just won’t inspire or help you.

Yet it is in our most honest display of ourselves that we are most vulnerable. Whether it be in a work setting, friendship or family dynamic there often has to be recognition of that culture of honesty and genuine sharing before the new party member feels ‘safe’ to fully share themselves- but it comes from the people who were there first.

I started a new job this week. It was really good actually and I think I made a good impression. I had some nice conversations and it was sweet as I received a few remarks about being ‘funny’. I was happy to bring a smile to a few people’s faces.

People will perceive you often different from how you view yourself.

You can’t control that- people will always view you differently but what you can do is control how you hold yourself.

So an impression I wanted was to be friendly, chatty, and involved in the work environment.

Once you have done the things you can control to the best ability you need to let go of everything else that occurs. Whatever happens, happens. You can be content because you have done your bit.

This frees up space up in your mind, you almost don’t care what other people think, you don’t stress as much.

Then the laser focus is on the small number of things you can control.

First impressions are something you can be scared of or something you can lean into. Recognising that people are probably going to judge you if you are new but you have the ability to counteract that by being genuine and focussing on the things you can control.

So are you going to lean in or resist?