55. Goals

It’s easy to get carried away.

The new year is upcoming and people often decide to make crazy goals and never reach them.

Insight with application = frustration.

I’m all for setting resolutions but without being specific, having intentional, and being held accountable, taking on these ventures will be hard.

In your mind, your need to accept that this new goal you are partaking in is not just a temporary thing but rather your normal life.

Take for example you want to go to the gym 3 times a week. If you’ve never been before and have no clue what to do this is going to be hard. You need to find a gym, commit and pay for it, get a plan, then schedule what days you are going to go. You stick to it no matter what because this is now your new normal.

Success in goals requires an understanding that it won’t be fun all the time but you will still go because that’s what you do.

My goals are hard but I know I will make them. They are in my reach because I know the formula- I just need to turn up.

I have people to keep me accountable, tick lists to give me motivation, and post-it notes to remind me.

Goals must be embodied rather than to remain distant dreams- get after yours now.

54. Menial jobs

We all hate them but we all have to do them at some point

We have tasks, jobs, and situations in life that are just plain boring. They often have little to no purpose, are very simple and we can find ourselves wondering why we are doing them.

That annoying job provides money for rent. That frustrating person has lots of contacts. That boring task is essential for progression.

However small a job it serves a purpose- even if that is unaware to you at present.

The response is not to not get annoyed at the situation but rather utilise it as fuel for change.

If you want different circumstances make it happen.

Gain skills, start that side hustle, search for a new job.

But never complain.

You know yourself inside and out but when you step your foot off the pedal and become entitled that can be all people know you for.

Being stuck in jobs ‘too small’ for us can actually be a good thing.

They curate patience, give you a perspective, and often point you towards the things you really want to do.

Effort and gratitude have to be put in.

How you do one thing is how you do everything.

Consistency in hard work pays dividends and one day the menial jobs won’t be as so all-consuming.

With more trust and responsibility comes the ability to delegate the ‘boring jobs’.

It’s a tough system but any other way simply wouldn’t work. You need the barrier of entry to more high-end roles to be tough (and often monotonous) so you can weed out who really wants it and who doesn’t.

People who really want things in life will make it happen even it is at the temporary sacrifice of their happiness.

The word temporary is essential here.

If you are stuck somewhere doing something you hate for progression into something you don’t care about or with no future prospects you need to evaluate your options.

However, in the words of Seth Godin, "Never quit something with great long-term potential just because you can’t deal with the stress of the moment.”- See the light at the end of the tunnel and put your head down.

When you have a reason why you are doing what you are doing the menial job doesn’t seem pointless after all.

53. Accepting love

“I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart” - Vincent Van Gogh

The notion that self-love is not needed is misguided. We need to gain confidence in who we are with all our qualities and faults. Maturity is knowing this and understanding whether another person needs to play a role in being a part of that story- this is essential to receiving the love you believe you need.

Love is not designated to only romantic partners but can be in friendships, conversations with colleagues, and overall how we interact. There is a confidence in knowing yourself and the value you offer to the world- this manifests into allowing for sifting through what you do and don’t need in relationships and how you can serve others.

We attract the people we are like and become the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with. If we are self-deprecating and our friends don’t have high standards for themselves or you then chances are your self-confidence won’t be there.

It all starts with you accepting yourself and knowing that you are loved.

We need to move from this idea that the world feeds us that our value is intrinsically aligned with our actions and know that whoever we are, whatever the past or current situations we are in, we are uniquely and wonderfully different and have so much to offer to the world.

However, this doesn’t mean to sit back and be idle but rather we needn’t stress to meet a quota to allow ourselves to accept love. We are enough. Self-improvement, work, and betterment of ourselves are helpful but are completely separate from the evaluation of our value as people being worth love.

“We accept the love we think we deserve” - Stephen Chbosky

We are often our own worst enemy. We fixate on individual circumstances and see those as a barrier for us to accept love from God, family, partners, friends, or just the world as a whole.

Yet, this is just our twisted mind playing games on us. In and of themselves those actions we took part in may have been bad but they don’t stain us nor restrain us from being cared for. In ancient Greece, there were 8 words used to describe love due to its sheer complexity. ‘Agape’ was one of these and it means unconditional love.

It is a heart shift to be open to recognise that we are all able and worth agape.

Removal of the constant comparison, escaping the endless rat race for ‘success’, and not giving time for false words of inadequacy to be spoken over you, are necessary for the perspective change.

“Feelings are not neutral, they are a battlefield. There will be people who want you to choose a side, causes that need a hand, problems that need action”

The world will tell you that you are not deserving of love if you allow it. They are the enemy on the battlefield. You can sit idly by and just allow yourself to simply be crushed and believe that or step up.

Accept Agape.